How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
