butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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