There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
