this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
