I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
