Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
