I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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