who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
