What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
