I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
