I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize