spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
