Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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