Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
