if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
