you told grandpa to call you daddy
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
