I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
