Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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