I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
