So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
