I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
