So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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