Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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