I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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