Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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