ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
