Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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