I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
