I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
