Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
me + whiskey = a bad person
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
