billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
