She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
