was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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