So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
