I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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