I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
