Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
