You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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