I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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