White coat. Heels.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
