youre lurking in front of me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
