I wish I only lived at night.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
