She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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