I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
