Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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