He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
