I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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