i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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