Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
