its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
