Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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