I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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