Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I want a musical about memes.
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