Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
