do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
