So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize