Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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