I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
