i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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