well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
